Mel Gibson for the fail.

Part of me really, really wants to see Apocalypto. It's not just my sense of duty as a New World archaeologist, or the lure of controversy, or morbid curiosity, though maybe it's a little of all these things. I kind of just want to see it.

Frankly, I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle it. I happen to rather like blood (god I'm so weird), but organs, now, that's a different story. Once you bust out the organs (quite literally in this case, I imagine), you've lost me. So when the inevitable question comes, and I say I haven't seen it, it won't be because I'm boycotting Gibson's historical inaccuracy or his intolerant existance, though believe me, I've noticed. It will be because I'm a wuss.

Since I don't have the constitution to watch this controversial behemoth of a flick, I'll content myself with reading as many reviews as I can until I feel like I've seen the thing. And in doing this I learned that at some point the hero is spared a grisly death because of a surprise solar eclipse. A surprise solar eclipse?!?!?!?! Deus ex machina aside, these are the MAYA we're talking about. The Maya. If you did your homework, Mel (and you must have to have gotten the costumes and the rituals and the freaking language right), you'd know that the Maya had both a lunar and a solar calendar, both extraordinarily accurate. If there's anything that should never happen in movie about the Maya, it's a surprise eclipse. FAIL.

I will never stop making fun of my mother for swooning over this guy back before he revealed his lunacy.