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Owners’ Guide and Manual to George W. Bush (abridged)

Congratulations on your purchase of a GEORGE W. BUSH unit! In order to fully utilize and enjoy your new unit, it is recommended that you read and follow the instructions.

Getting Started

Remove your GEORGE W. BUSH unit from his box. He will be in default mode (either “Silver Spoon” or “The Decider,” depending on date of purchase).
Note: Your GEORGE W. BUSH unit lacks a Power switch. Once you have removed him from his box, he will remain in Power mode for the duration of his rechargeable term. Expected term life is 4 years, at which time a new term must be purchased.

Your GEORGE W. BUSH unit comes in the following modes:

“Silver Spoon” (default)
“Born Again”
“Texas Tiger”
“Confused Simian”
“Compassionate Conservative”
“The Decider” Note: If you purchased your GEORGE W. BUSH unit after September 11, 2001, this will be his default mode.
“Sleep.” During “Sleep” mode, your GEORGE W. BUSH unit’s power is still on, but he will not be able to receive instructions from you. The only thing that can communicate with a GEORGE W. BUSH unit in “Sleep” mode is the JESUS CHRIST unit.


Interaction With Other Units

DICK CHENEY: Your GEORGE W. BUSH unit will interact readily with this unit. DICK CHENEY will immediately influence GEORGE W. BUSH’s behavior.
Note: the DICK CHENEY unit is also available as part of the EXECUTIVE BRANCH Set. All units in this set will have a similar effect on your GEORGE W. BUSH unit.
AL GORE: Initial exposure to this unit will temporarily put your GEORGE W. BUSH unit in “Confused Simian” mode. Continued interaction will activate “Compassionate Conservative” mode and probably result in severe damage to AL GORE unit. Prolonged exposure to AL GORE will activate GEORGE W. BUSH’s “Sleep” mode.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: Exposure to this unit will immediately activate “The Decider” mode.
SADDAM HUSSEIN is also available as part of the AXIS OF EVIL AND FRIENDS Set. All units in this set will have a similar effect on your GEORGE W. BUSH unit.
TONY BLAIR: Upon coming in contact with a GEORGE W. BUSH unit in “The Decider” mode, TONY BLAIR will begin imitating GEORGE W. BUSH’s movements. This will damage the TONY BLAIR unit.
JESUS CHRIST: Initial exposure to this unit will activate your GEORGE W. BUSH unit’s “Born Again” mode. All previously programmed data will be erased. Afterward, GWB will be able to receive programming instructions from JESUS CHRIST while in “Sleep” mode.
UNITED NATIONS Set: Not compatible with GEORGE W. BUSH unit.

Disposal

To safely dispose of your GEORGE W. BUSH unit, expose him to DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS Superset with “Impeach” mode activated. If you have not purchased a DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS Superset, or if your superset is currently in a mode other than “Impeach,” this will not work, and you will have to wait until the rechargeable term of your GEORGE W. BUSH unit has expired.


CAUTION! Do not expose your GEORGE W. BUSH unit to pretzels.